If You're Having Girl Problems, I Feel Bad For You, Son...

Had my first real creative talk with Paramount.

They're not looking for a quick-buck, slapdash horror film here.

If I'm capable of it, they'd like me to reinvent the horror genre with this adaptation...

Terrific.

No pressure.

If that's what they want, I can give it to them...

Heh heh...

(Stifled sound of weeping...)

There Are No Kings in this World (Only Princes)

Gratitude to the BLOGGER techs who finally resolved the issues with my primary, personal blog. (I'll refrain from including a direct link to it here, but it's not that difficult to find.)

Oh-Em-Gee, I am so happy that it's Thursday! Labor Day Weekend's upon us, and since I'm burning up unused vacation days I'm looking at a 5-day bender -- er -- weekend.

I haven't actually sussed out what I want to do with these 5 days. All my coupled-up friends are probably doing coupled-up fucking things. Even numbers suck shit. I fear that I am doomed to be odd.

But it keeps my edge on, so it can't be dismissed outright...

I think I'm gonna do some motherfucking WRITING this weekend! Sound exciting? No? Well, it's my curse (much like Spider-Man), so I've gotta do it. With great curses come great responsibility.

MYYY DAY JOBBB SUCKSSS!!! Can't I go home yet...?

The Death Bed of August

So, that's it for Summer Oh-Six, then, eh? I'd claim it as my best summer ever, but that wouldn't really be saying much, I reckon. I'm just thankful that it's ended on such a promising note.

This summer's felt strangely quiet. Maybe coz I went through most of it alone. Saw a lot of friends and made some good new friends, but there was no constant. (Except YOU, dear blog -- you're always there for me, aren't you??)

I have to say, none of it seems terribly real just yet. It might feel real when I'm at Paramount Pictures to field their notes on the first draft of my adaptation.

Man, if you'd told me that my summer would end the way that it has... I would've been like, Yep, that sounds about right!

Autumn. Autumn sits there staring at us like a dog waiting to be fed. I've never been so nervously excited for September to begin...

Eternal Sunshine

Where's my parade?

This reminds me of when I found out that I got into the Summer Play Festival. A huge blast of excitement followed by the waiting, waiting, waiting.

It's been fun reconnecting with friends I haven't seen in a while, giving them the good news. I've got to be careful with my time, though. There will be plenty of time to party till we puke. I've got to preserve some brain cells for writing.

That said, I'M STILL GOIN' OUT!!!

But I'm striking a balance. I'm not going to live like a monk, but I also won't live like there's no tomorrow. Because for the first time in a long time, tomorrow's filled with promise...

(Hopefully, not the broken kind.)

OH! I'M READY FOR IT! COME ON, BRING IT!!!

Allow me the preemptive DISCLAIMER:

The views of this blog do not represent the views of Paramount Pictures, its parent, affiliate or subsidiary companies.

It may not be out in the press just yet, but the deal is done, folks.

Paramount Pictures has purchased the rights to my play -- "The Butcherhouse Chronicles" -- and will be working with me to adapt it into a movie.

I don't know how long these things usually take, but it's all seemed to happen very quickly.

Suffice it to say, this far beyond any hopes/expectations I had for my SPF experience.

Yes, this changes a lot for me. Yes, I've got my work cut out for me.

But I'm up for this challenge. I can do this. I've been working for an opportunity like this my whole life.

The deal may be done, but the details are still being made clear to me. Thus far, this has been a personal little blog documenting my experience going through the Summer Play Festival. Now that Paramount Pictures owns the rights to "The Butcherhouse Chronicles", I'm not sure if it changes what I'm able to write about here. I'm hoping they don't care about a pissant little BLOGSPOT blog. We'll see...

Paramount seems to be excited about this. I'm obviously excited about this. I've got so many ideas for this adaptation. I'm going to do everything I can to make this work.

This is only the beginning. We are going on a ride.

I'm Not Leaving Now, Honey, Not a Chance...

Can I talk about "it" yet? Can I unleash the fever of thoughts and emotions churning through my heart and skull?? TODAY??? LATER TODAY????

Not. Quite. Yet.

I probably could. It's almost *ready*. Just a few more t's to cross and i's to jot.

I guess I'd rather "it" be announced elsewhere first. And then I can just link to it and it'll make it more real-sounding, and I won't have to go through the trouble of convincing you strangers that it's all legit.

I am an inferno.

The Killing Suspense

I'm sorry, little ones, you can't open presents quite yet. These things, such as they are, take time. This'll be worth the wait, though. Like all your happy thoughts packed into an ice cream cone.

I wish my regular BLOG were updating properly. If it were, I wouldn't have to be dwelling on this career blog exclusively. Blame it on BLOGGER BETA. Blame it on my foolish impulse to try to migrate to BLOGGER BETA. (And then, please avoid BLOGGER BETA.)

I *can* sort of talk about the fact that I'm working on the book for a musical adaptation of a well-known sci-fi novel. We don't actually have the rights and I'd normally avoid spending the time to adapt something that I didn't have the rights to, but it's an exciting challenge to write the book for a musical. And this particular adaptation presents some unique challenges, story-wise. And I love the collaborative nature of it. The pressure's not all on me. I think pressure is best when it's shared!

Cruised Off

I... will be careful about what I say here.

My friends know that I've always liked Tom Cruise. The guy has worked with just about every filmmaker I've ever idolized. And despite the media hooplah of the past year, I've always found the projects that he's chosen to work on to be really interesting.

So, at the risk of tipping my hand, I'm a bit saddened by the sudden, acrimonious split with Paramount.

But I believe that things happen for a reason.

Yes, I realize I've been stringing this tease along for an unconscionable length of time (in blog time, at least)... but I want to make sure that all the details are settled before I start blabbing about it on a website that anybody can read. And I can't post updates to my personal blog (thanks, BLOGGER BETA!), so I'm relegated to posting entries on this "career" blog. Pity me, world.

Kiss Me Goodbye!

It might seem silly to prolong the tease here since I've already shared the news with just about everybody I know (just about), but I ain't officially publicizing anything till the ink stains are dry.

To be more cryptic, I'm in the process of settling all my affairs. No, I'm not dying. (Though -- yes -- we are all dying, every day, with every breath, etc.) But perhaps a part of me is dying. Or maybe it died a long while ago. The question I'm meditating on is, what part of me is still alive? And, more importantly, what's being reborn through fire...?

To friends: I don't need you to temper my excitement. I am doing an expert job of keeping in mind all the ways this could end badly. I have always been very good at dwelling on the theoretical negatives. What I need most from you is POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT. Don't take it upon yourself to brace me for disappointment. That isn't what I need from you right now. Or ever.

I know what I have to do. I know what's at stake.

Fasten your seatbelts. I'll tell you where we're going soon enough.

Cobra Starship

"I can see the venom in your eyes."
News embargo is still on, I'm afraid. Perhaps I can spill it this week, but not before I'm ready.

I hate to talk about That Snake Movie here, but my other blog is down. It might seem pointless for me to say that I hated it. My expectations weren't exactly high.

But I like watching crap movies. I like trying to figure out where things went wrong, how things could have been better from a writing perspective. The premise of The Snake Movie provides a unique challenge from a writing perspective because it's so absurd. But the sheer, audacious absurdity itself provided a glimmer of hope. The absurdity could have been exploited.

Alas, in my humble opinion, the experience of watching That Snake Movie is a singularly oppressive one. It seemed that nobody tried to do ANYTHING with this movie. Someone might argue, "What would you expect from a movie called [what it's called]?"

I would argue that a lame premise is the perfect opportunity to surprise people with something fresh. And yet, what we're offered here is near joyless and half-assed in every department. SHOWGIRLS is a fun, shitty movie. The Snake Movie is just apathy stuck on the screen.

THAT BEING SAID, my favorite part of the movie was the music video that runs during the end credits from Cobra Starship. Pure pop confection. Like Ray Parker Jr's "Who Ya Gonna Call?" for GHOSTBUSTERS. Lyrics that are laughably specific to the movie -- even when you try to imagine "snakes" as metaphors for music execs. The song's as infectious and pop as the movie ought to have been.

Cobra Starship was the sole highlight of the movie experience for me. The kitsch value of the movie's premise got old months ago, and the movie itself does nothing to argue otherwise. Way to go, fanboys!

Don't You Know Who I Am?!?

I did NOT land one of the Donmar Warehouse residencies through SPF.

But this is okay...

I have a consolation prize.

All will be revealed soon enough, I promise...

Sorry for stringing out the mystery. It's hard on ME not writing about it here because it's all that's been on my mind for the past week...

Trust me, though. Whoever you are. It'll be worth the wait.

Are You Listening???

I was spinning free! Whoa!!!
With a little sweet and simple numbing me!!!

Stumble till you crawl! Whoa!!!
Sinking into sweet uncertainty!!!

Okay, BLOGGER is all screwed up. If you're on BLOGGER, do NOT try to migrate to the BLOGGER BETA. I lost the ability to update at least one of my blogs trying to migrate, but it seems like I can update this one. How poetic.

I'm still not ready to publicize what's going on -- not on this blog -- but rest assured that something *is* happening. And I think it's a big turning point for my career.

Suffice it to say, when the news breaks, this little blog may suffer a slight influx of traffic. (Or not, who knows?) Kinda depends on how eager people are to GOOGLE.

Maybe I should clean up before company arrives...

Mystery!

The things I can't tell you right now, blog...

The things I'd like to share...

The thoughts eddying deliriously through my skull...

All in due time. A lot to sort out before anything can be shared. Those who know what I'm talking about... know what I'm talking about.

The weather's about to take a sharp turn. And it's about time. It's been winter for too many years.

Adaptation.

First off, who created this wonderful animated gif? I lifted it off a random blog but I'm not sure she created it. I so want to steal it as my own. I deserve a kick-ass gif like this.

I'm tinkering with an adaptation. I've never done this before, except with my own work. It is an exciting and daunting challenge. That is all I will say for now.

I am falling asleep at work. Is Tuesday morning completely necessary...?

From This Point On, It Only Gets Rougher

Cold, this weekend. Cold on Sunday morning, at least. The fall approaches. Licks its lips and sidles up to us at the bar.

I had a good time this summer, I think. I think I shall look back fondly on this one. New book, new chapter. The beginning of something better. Something stronger and faster. More resilient and lethal.

I am capable of a lot more than I realize. Like surviving a long walk through the fires of hell.

Check out my stupid cat video trilogy...

The Devil in Mr. Bob
What About Bob?
NEW:
Bad Bob Beyond Sissydome

The second is the most popular and the third's a real let-down. I tried to pattern it after the original Star Wars trilogy.

Perfecting Procrastination

"Do you dream too much?"

When you've got a lot to do, it's hard to know where to begin. But I'm making such an effort to avoid the beast of procrastination.

Last night, I succumbed to it.

I started a short video project and I came up with all these ideas for it, and soon I was hooking up my DV camera and recording my own dialogue. All for some disposable project that will -- at best -- be embraced by an infinitesimal segment of the online community. Bully for me!

This weekend's all about redrafting archived scripts. If I'm satisfied with my progress, I may write more of the new play.

But I want to finish that new video project. Coz I'm just that reckless. Light a candle and say a prayer.

Dystopia

Does anybody here remember "Dystopia"...?

No? Could it be because only about 7 people in the world ever read it?

Well, it's the second full-length screenplay I ever wrote (the first being an atrocious pile of hooey called "Sisters"), and I've just dug it up and printed it out and am dead set upon giving it a good, hard polish before setting it back atop my revised portfolio.

It's about a daycare center run by wolves. As I remember it, the script's got problems like all get out, but I'm a better writer than I was back whenever. I just want to streamline it and make it readable. Two horror screenplays in the bag would be good to have for a writer trying to make a living.

Called out sick yesterday and tried to start work on a new play, but most of the writing was done in my head. I've got two lines written. Tell me I can write more than two lines in a day.

My immune system hates me. (Get in line, immune system!) It realizes how poorly I've been treating it for the past year and it's gone on strike. If I drop dead suddenly, avenge me.

Sea-Change

Full fathom five thy father lies:
Of his bones are coral made:
Those are pearls that were his eyes:
Nothing of him that doth fade
But doth suffer a sea-change
Into something rich and strange.
- Shakespeare's The Tempest

Profound transformations can be messy and painful. But they're not always into something beautiful and new. Sometimes, they're earthbound. Something colder and more cautious. Better adapted to an environment filled with harm.

Even amidst a heat-wave, there is no warmth in this city. Not for everyone, at least.

That's good. Because the world isn't built for everyone. And if it's not built for you, you've got to build a world around you. A new kind of world. One where you can breathe.

Tell Me Do You Miss Me

My body's finally caught up with all the abuse I've been feeding it the past month, and I am feeling true horror at the moment. I have felt far worse, to be clear. But disaster is whispering sweet nothings into my ear, and I know I've got to ease up. I don't want to get sick. I've got to keep my strength up. There's real work to do.

The things I'd like to share with you, blog. But there is a time and place for everything.

If you're looking for my contact information, hopefully you've found other sources of information before stumbling upon this blog. You can find a way to contact me with a few rudimentary searches. Or you can just contact the Summer Play Festival office and make an official query.

My Cinderella hours at SPF are over. There is a smashed pumpkin on the ground and I'm cloaked in rags. But I'll keep this up as a career blog. Like it or not, my career begins at the Butcherhouse. (Hopefully, it doesn't end there.)

That Butcherhouse Musical

Several people have talked about the idea of turning "The Butcherhouse Chronicles" into a musical. While I enjoy musicals and would not discount the possibility of the raw material being turned into a musical, I have no idea how to construct a musical. And it's supposed to be a play. I wrote a play. Despite what some folks believe, I didn't write a screenplay and turn it into a stage play. I wrote it as a play. It's actually a bit of a challenge to turn it into a screenplay (which is what I'm working on now), but I think a screenplay adaptation is far less of a leap than a musical adaptation.

And I really would like to give it a chance to have a life as a stage play before any other "spin-off" versions are generated. I think it's a sad fact that it would have a better chance at a Broadway run if it were a big musical. But I'd be happy with any kind of run it could enjoy. Regional theatres. Play companies. As long as it's up somewhere and people have the opportunity to see it.

Lest we forget, CARRIE was turned into a musical in the late 80s. An infamous bomb. I love that movie. And Stephen King was a big influence for "The Butcherhouse". I wish I could have seen that musical because it kind of sounds fascinating to me...

Thanks to YOU TUBE, we have access to some poor video footage of that show...

The opening was a lively number called "In"...

"Eve Was Weak"...

"Out for Blood"... (Pigs' blood, of course)

"Wotta Night"...

Which brings us, inevitably, to "Destruction!"...!

Extra points if you actually watch all of that. I may be crazy (Ed.: MAYBE??), but I kinda like "In"...