Cobra Starship

"I can see the venom in your eyes."
News embargo is still on, I'm afraid. Perhaps I can spill it this week, but not before I'm ready.

I hate to talk about That Snake Movie here, but my other blog is down. It might seem pointless for me to say that I hated it. My expectations weren't exactly high.

But I like watching crap movies. I like trying to figure out where things went wrong, how things could have been better from a writing perspective. The premise of The Snake Movie provides a unique challenge from a writing perspective because it's so absurd. But the sheer, audacious absurdity itself provided a glimmer of hope. The absurdity could have been exploited.

Alas, in my humble opinion, the experience of watching That Snake Movie is a singularly oppressive one. It seemed that nobody tried to do ANYTHING with this movie. Someone might argue, "What would you expect from a movie called [what it's called]?"

I would argue that a lame premise is the perfect opportunity to surprise people with something fresh. And yet, what we're offered here is near joyless and half-assed in every department. SHOWGIRLS is a fun, shitty movie. The Snake Movie is just apathy stuck on the screen.

THAT BEING SAID, my favorite part of the movie was the music video that runs during the end credits from Cobra Starship. Pure pop confection. Like Ray Parker Jr's "Who Ya Gonna Call?" for GHOSTBUSTERS. Lyrics that are laughably specific to the movie -- even when you try to imagine "snakes" as metaphors for music execs. The song's as infectious and pop as the movie ought to have been.

Cobra Starship was the sole highlight of the movie experience for me. The kitsch value of the movie's premise got old months ago, and the movie itself does nothing to argue otherwise. Way to go, fanboys!