Lousy Parenting Awards

Where to start with this one...?

Please read about the parents who let their kid drop out of high school to focus on Guitar Hero.

Blake convinced his folks (that is, "We couldn't take the complaining anymore," said his mom) to let him drop out last September. They hired in-home tutors to continue his education there, at least, but there's no doubt priority number one is Guitar Hero. There's a vaguely defined goal of Blake playing it professionally, either through Major League Gaming or by winning prizes in a national and international competitions. But so far he's only made about $1,000, most of that value realized in meals and other freebies won at local competitions. The other pro gamer the reporter contacted for this story said he's cashed in about $25,000 in his entire career.

I'm all for liberal parenting, but fucking hell, Blake's Parents!

You've got to imagine those parents, at some point, were just like, "Ah, who gives a fuck?"

Listen Very Closely

Walking on Sunshine

Rise of the Rats

Meet Gordon, probably the world's first robot controlled exclusively by living brain tissue.

Stitched together from cultured rat neurons, Gordon's primitive grey matter was designed at the University of Reading by scientists who unveiled the neuron-powered machine on Wednesday.

Their groundbreaking experiments explore the vanishing boundary between natural and artificial intelligence, and could shed light on the fundamental building blocks of memory and learning, one of the lead researchers told AFP.

Read all about the Frankenrobot HERE .

I don't mean to be the joy-kill here—I'm all for pushing the boundaries of artificial intelligence and robotics... but should we really be encouraging the rats? Isn't there a slightly less-offensive species we could empower through machines?

Tether of Hope

MORGANTON, NC—If not for the faint glimmer of hope offered by a dinner date Thursday, sources confirmed that unemployed 24-year-old Justin Glick would have absolutely nothing to prevent him from sinking fully into the profound abyss of disrepair that is his daily life...

The Onion is cranking out some quality material, if you've missed it...

Serial Killer Thriller

Dexter.

I admit to being pretty green on the television business, but the one show I would luh-huh-huvvv to write would be "Dexter".

I love how it's constantly painting itself into a corner.

I love how it dances around the edges of morality.

A serial killer protagonist that you somehow root for.

Forget your fucking Heroes. Dexter's the show I'm looking forward to next month. Let's have it, then.

(I'm also really excited about The Shield, but I don't have an animated gif to convey my enthusiasm for it.)

Neighborhood Clown

Bicycle Thieves

It took long enough but, thanks to NetFlix, I finally got around to watching The Bicycle Thief. (I somehow managed to avoid seeing it throughout film school.)

As I do when I watch almost ANY movie these days, I combed through it looking for anything I could steal-- or rather, homage...

Then it occurred to me: Tim Burton remade this as Pee-wee's Big Adventure!

Son of a bitch.

Well, hats off to the original and the re-imagining. Both should be required viewing, IMHO.

Spanking Sells

Do yourself a favor and check out this terrific history of spanking in advertisements.

Nothing a good spank can't resolve.

Uncanny

Big Brown Brian beats his big brother Bobby with a baseball bat!!!

Uncanny Valleyism courtesy of the talented folks at Pendulum.

The Brave One

From The Onion:

COLUMBUS, OH—A bravely worded e-mail written by graphic designer Brent Quigley decrying his advertising firm's "complete lack of managerial competence" and its "utter failure to treat employees with respect" has remained inside the drafts folder since it was first composed on Dec. 4, 2007...

Courageous E-mail To Boss In Drafts Folder Since December

Culeros

This isn't necessarily a blog for soap-boxing these issues, but have you seen these "slanty-eye" photos that Spain's Olympic basketball teams posed for?!

Spanish sport has been mired in rows over racism in the last few years. In November 2004 black English footballers were subjected to relentless racial barracking from home supporters in a match in Spain. Before the World Cup there were calls for Luis Aragones, then Spain's football coach, to be sacked after he called Thierry Henry a "black shit".

A friend brought this to my attention—I can't believe there isn't more of a firestorm over this. Aside from a handful of online articles. What fucking year is this? THIS is okay with everyone?

Spain's shitty basketball teams go to the Beijing Olympics and disrespect the host nation with group "ching-chong" portraits?

... and no apologies?

... not even an half-assed explanation?

Is something wrong with this picture?

Go get angry. Immediately.

Troll Age

"Why inflict anguish on a helpless stranger? It’s tempting to blame technology, which increases the range of our communications while dehumanizing the recipients.... But while technology reduces the social barriers that keep us from bedeviling strangers, it does not explain the initial trolling impulse. This seems to spring from something ugly — a destructive human urge that many feel but few act upon, the ambient misanthropy that’s a frequent ingredient of art, politics and, most of all, jokes. There’s a lot of hate out there, and a lot to hate as well..."

New York Times Magazine

And The Onion reports from another angle...

Uncle Funny Bunny and Chumpy

I must respectfully disagree with cartoon historian Jerry Beck:

Jack Pierce's "Uncle Funny Bunny and Chumpy" is hardly the worst comic strip ever made.

The name alone is fucking inspired.

"Uncle Funny Bunny" would've been ample. "Chumpy" would've been perfectly sound. But Pierce saw fit to offer us *both* Uncle Funny Bunny AND Chumpy. In one strip. This was nothing short of revolutionary in its day.

There are comic strips far, far more deserving of the Worst Comic Strip Ever Stamp. Now testify.

Triumph at the Comic Con

This Dying World

"There is nothing left now but to ensure that my infant son does not meet the same fate as the rest of my doomed race," Gore said. "I will send him to a new planet, where he will, I hope, be raised by simple but kindly country folk and grow up to be a hero and protector to his adopted home."

In case you missed it, do yourself a favor and check out THE ONION's brilliant Al Gore piece.

Somewhat Damaged

just like you
would always say
we'll make it through

then my head
fell apart

(and where were you...?)

how could I
ever think

it's funny how
everything you swore would never change...
... is different now

like you said
you and me
make it through

didn't quite!
fell apart!
WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU??

Lonely World

The brilliant GARFIELD MINUS GARFIELD is gonna be a book that I may have to pick up.

It's remarkable what a little Photoshop can reveal.

I Have No Strings On Me

Cuddle him, and he seems to soak up the affection. His limbs become limp, his eyelids lower, his breathing relaxes, and his heart beat slows down.

But give him a violent shake, or shout in his face, and he gets upset.

He flinches, his hands clench, his breathing and heart rate speed up, and his eyes widen.

Welcome to August.

Meet the Emotibots...

This is really happening.

I Don't Get It (again)

Remember that jogger I animated for Lucas Dimick?

This is what he made.

Now go and rate it 5 stars for us.

Goddamn you, don't question me. JUST FUCKING DO IT!!!

Now!

Now!!!

More Mutations

Dead Seamonsters in Montauk!

Run for the fucking hills!

Jeff Corwin thinks it's a dog or a raccoon...

Gawker breaks down the theories.