Savages

Black Friday stampede kills WalMart worker, pregnant woman miscarries...

Really, America? Really...??

This is Sewious!!!

What's gonna work???



(Hint: teamwork.)

Requiem for McCain

John McCain ran one of the most incompetent, schizo campaigns in history - and smashed the GOP to pieces.

Election night at the Biltmore in Arizona is a hilariously dismal scene, like a funeral for a family member nobody liked, who died owing everyone money. The rats here are already bailing off the ship with lightning speed, like L.A. Dodgers fans leaving a playoff game to catch the latest episode of Entourage. The exodus, in fact, begins about eight seconds into John McCain's concession speech, which incidentally starts off on the classiest of notes: with the remaining crowd cursing the name of the new president...

Rolling Stone takes a look at the big finale of the McCain/Palin campaign. Check it out.

Guns N' Dragons

At long last...


On shelves...


Owned...


Inked...
I must say, BEST BUY's peculiar lack of fanfare in supporting this album is somewhat aggravating to me. After all these years. But at least the album's out there. At long last.

I'm Feeling Really, Really, Ever So Not Well!

Charlie and Lola keep the state of a new generation of children's television... very well indeed.

Period point blank.

In Idaho, Everything is Fine

"In our district there was an isolated instance of children making regrettable and unacceptable remarks in regards to harming President-elect Obama," [Superintendent Geoffrey] Thomas wrote in a letter to parents Monday. "Word of this behavior leaked out to a hyperactive media and bloggers which in turn distorted way out of proportion the comments that were made, painting the entire community with the same negative brush."

Hyperactive bloggers, huh? Can I join in the virtual finger-wagging?

I guess a bunch of 2nd and 3rd graders, in a school bus in Eastern Idaho, were chanting "Assassinate Obama" after the November 4th election.

Read about the small town mayor's public apology.

How did I miss this story?!?

MTA Hell

The MTA reportedly is ready to make deep cuts in its budget that could lead to reduced service, layoffs and more crowded trains. Sources tell CBS 2 the association board is preparing a worst case "Doomsday" scenario that will be presented during its monthly meeting on Thursday...

During the Thursday meeting, The MTA is expected to: completely do away with the "W" line, which runs from Queens to Manhattan, and the "Z" line, which runs through Queens, Brooklyn and Manhattan. Also on the chopping block: service will be cut in half on the "G" line, which runs from Queens to Brooklyn; and the "M" line, which runs through Brooklyn, Manhattan, and Queens.

This is potentially so fucked up, I don't even know where to begin with this!

Hard Bargain

Attractive Girls Union Refuses To Enter Into Talks With Mike Greenman

The AGU are nearly impossible to negotiate with. (They've got a sweetheart deal with the Douchebags League that is hard to get around.)

Maddow

I got totally hooked on MSNBC during the election.

Check out these videos of rising-star Rachel Maddow before she got her very own show.

Season of the Witch

And now, because it's November 17th, I think it's time to have a timely Halloween entry.

This was for a party on November 1st. Nothing like dressing up in costumes the night after Halloween...

My good friend Cicely with one of the best costumes ever.

Ben in unabomber getup.

Lila as The Ring girl, and/or Princess Leia.

God damn it. November 17th. Can that be fucking right? Where are we?

This week and next week. These are the days we need the world to open up.

Chinese Democracy: FOUR STARS

Sure. Agreed. I am drunk as I write this entry, but that is neither here *nor* there...

The point I am trying to make here is that Rolling Stone has written up its FOUR STAR REVIEW OF CHINESE DEMOCRACY...

Let's get right to it: The first Guns n' Roses album of new, original songs since the first Bush administration is a great, audacious, unhinged and uncompromising hard-rock record...

To be sold exclusively at Best Buy on Sunday, November 23rd, 2008.

I've been waiting for this motherfucker for so long, I may actually have to get a tattoo to commemorate this occasion.

South Park Election Episode

"You can't really get ready for the moment a black man is elected president. That's just crazy and kind of trippy. So yeah, we put it all on black by producing the Obama episode but I mean…the whole wheel was pretty black except for maybe one red. It was a highly slanted board."
—Matt Stone, co-creator of South Park

Great interview with Matt Stone on how they pulled off an animated election episode of South Park that aired the day after the general election. I'm a grand fan of the show, but I've found some of their political/message episodes to be a bit insulting/obnoxious/wrong. Surprisingly, Stone comments on some of the erroneous perceptions of the show in regards to this.

Murder in the Age of Social Networking

And in grisly news...

A husband who hacked his wife to death with a meat cleaver in fury over her Facebook entry was jailed for a minimum of 14 years at the Old Bailey today....

The couple had separated four days before the murder in February and Forrester later told police he had been provoked by his wife changing her marital status to "single" on her Facebook entry, the court heard.

It may be misleading/incriminating to state that I can relate to this... but the seemingly innocuous world of social networking sites creates complicated new paradigms. You've got this virtual web of connections that you're constantly communicating with, even if you're not active. Change one small thing—like "relationship status"—and it's an immediate all-points-bulletin.

Caveat emptor.

Synecdoche

Probably most screenwriters are fairly jealous of Charlie Kaufman. As a screenwriter, he commands the respect usually reserved for playwrights. Whatever that means.

I haven't seen his directorial debut yet, but here's an interview with him, in case you've missed.

The Demise of Drudge

The internet's a fickle bitch, all right...

Matt Drudge used all the might of his large FONT SIZES and SCARY RED HEXIDECIMAL COLORS to try to drag Obama down and drum up a fictional McCain comeback narrative in the weeks leading up the election, but alas all that digital froth led to bupkis.

Gawker laid it out last week...

Near Flawless

NYT article on Obama's tight campaign:

... the McCain campaign team often seemed to make missteps and lurch from moment to moment in search of a consistent strategy and message, while the disciplined and nimble Obama team marched through a presidential contest of historic intensity learning to exploit opponents’ weaknesses and making remarkably few stumbles.

Cock-Shittingly Good

A video Louis CK made the day before the election. I know, it's a wee bit late, but it made me laugh.

Champion

We won.

Jesus fucking Christ, what a relief...

You know what's even more amazing? Barack Obama took the time to send me a personal email RIGHT BEFORE he went out to give his acceptance speech! No shit! He used my first name and everything! Check it out:

Michael --

I'm about to head to Grant Park to talk to everyone gathered there, but I wanted to write to you first.

We just made history.

And I don't want you to forget how we did it.

You made history every single day during this campaign -- every day you knocked on doors, made a donation, or talked to your family, friends, and neighbors about why you believe it's time for change.

I want to thank all of you who gave your time, talent, and passion to this campaign.

We have a lot of work to do to get our country back on track, and I'll be in touch soon about what comes next.

But I want to be very clear about one thing...

All of this happened because of you.

Thank you,

Barack

That's what I call classy.

Vote Often

McCain's at his lowest win-scenario percentage. Granted, I'm composing this early in the evening on Monday night, but 538 has been analyzing this carefully. And I go with them because they offer the maximum encouragement.

Um... don't forget to vote... for Barack Obama. That's who we like. The royal "we".

Let's make this happen.

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

And then... there are some other things I've got to get done this month... I'll let you know about them. Appy-polly-geez for the lack of concrete personal/professional info here. I'm working on things; things are happening. You've got to trust me.

The Day Before Tomorrow

I'm glued to fivethirtyeight.com and MSNBC.

Don't screw the pooch again, America.