Sunday, June 18, 2006

Daydream Believer

I spent the better part of yesterday daydreaming. Staring at the ceiling and thinking about everything. My 5th grade elementary school teacher (Mrs. Martini) accused me of being a daydreamer and she was right. It's astonishing to me that I can waste a whole day doing nothing but thinking.

But, Malice!!! Isn't there a play you should be writing?!?

Yes, Becky, there is a play I'm in the middle of writing. And it's one of the things I was thinking about yesterday, in addition to all the details of the "Butcherhouse" production...

But, Malice!?! Isn't "daydreaming" just another way of "procrastinating"?!?

Yes, Becky, one could argue that "daydreaming" is a form of procrastination. But it's something I find I need to do sometimes. Get into a peaceful space and meditate on all the things in my life. In high school, I used to go to the library for "study period" and just daydream for 45 minutes. I believe a little daydreaming can defuse a potential "Columbine" situation. (And sure -- it can create one, too! Huzzah!)

But, MALICE?!? A little meditation time is FINE, but A WHOLE DAY!? Don't you think that's a bit indulgent?!? AREN'T THERE ARE A MILLION THINGS YOU COULD HAVE BEEN DOING!?!

Well, Becky, this is what happens you can't sleep. My sleep patterns have gotten more and more erratic. When you can't sleep, your waking life becomes this muted, zombie-like daze. I have a hard time turning off my thoughts and sometimes I just need to think them out, to keep myself from becoming a complete zombie. Zombies are the ultimate daydreamers.

But, MALICE??? Zombies?!? The cannibalistic undead?! Have you lost the plot entirely??

You don't exist, Becky! You're not real! Dr. Kaplan says you don't exist, so just leave me alone!!!